Oh Sober Night

Fragments from clarity, and not the bottle this once...

I unlocked the mailbox before I left, and there was a moment, I caught myself thinking, 'maybe he found me this year, maybe this year he sent a card, maybe today.'

First time I've been asked out while driving, I think something must be wrong with my car, then when I hear him ask "wanna go get a drink?" I wonder if I look really sad, or like a lush.

Shelley says 'I actually really like my life,' and I agree.

Driving with Shelley, 'maybe I'm amazed,' and Damien Rice 'I remember December.'

Shivers down my spine for no one in particular: funny how we choose these songs. I don't know if it's hope or sadness. I don't think I remember what loving someone feels like.

At a party and somehow I feel prematurely aged. I'm looking down, and I don't want to be looking down.

She sees a line about permanently formed in my forehead and says "because you worry so much." I'm 24 fucking years old: too soon for the furrows I think.

So much booze abound...I don't want to be there. Not in that house, just not with the booze. I need to look forward. A sober night, tonight.

'sleepwalking...cause I'm sleepwalking...'

Driving home before midnight. I just want my bed. I don't want him or him or him to call. I don't want to pin a song on someone just to make sense.

This has not been a tomorrow day. This has been a next year day.