An evil condition.

Found out yesterday my mother’s boyfriend of ten years – the love of her life – has stage four lung cancer already spread to the bones. My aunt says this brings up all the other deaths for her and I think she’s right: this will be cancer number five in our family. So sick of cancer and it’s seeming lack of rhyme or reason. All the supposed cancer prevention bullshit. Paul never smoked and ate red meat his entire life: he’s got a perfectly healthy heart and the doctor’s say he’s in the 15% of lung cancer patients who get it with no connection to smoking. Lyman ran 5 miles a day up to age 84 and he winds up with bone cancer. My Grandma ran with him and died of pancreatic cancer at age 54. What is cancer? What does cancer even mean, I have often wondered. Let’s look it up:

1. Pathology
a. a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, esp. one originating in epithelium, tending to recur after excision and to metastasize to other sites.
b. any disease characterized by such growths.
2. any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight.
3. (initial capital letter) Astronomy. the Crab, a zodiacal constellation between Gemini and Leo.
4. (initial capital letter) Astrology.
a. the fourth sign of the zodiac: the cardinal water sign.
b. a person born under this sign, usually between June 21 and July 22.
5. (initial capital letter) tropic of. See under tropic (def. 1a).
[Origin: 1350–1400; ME < L: lit., crab; L s. cancr-, dissimilated from *carcr-, with *carc-r- akin to Gk karkínos, Skt karkata crab; see canker]

And that’s what you do. You look it up, all the doctor speak, the treatments. I’ve watched two people fight it and go into remission and back and two people refuse treatment and two go home to die. I don’t know which is better or worse or if there is such a thing as better or worse.

So I’m going with definition (1)b.