GUUUUUUUUUHLP!

You know how you get to that point in a relationship where someone’s cute little quirks turn into fingernails on a chalkboard? Well, last night my boyfriend, Anderson Cooper, and I were hanging out about 7 p.m., as we do, and I noticed something about him for the first time that irritates the shit out of me! He started talking about something (he’s sort of loquacious) oh so passionately and quickly, something I love about him.
And then I heard it; little gaspy gulps for air like a little dying fish between every pause in his rapid fire sentences: With six days left until the elections will Kerry’s botched joke cost the Dems the house – GUUUUUUHLP – Bush makes a show of confidence for Rumsfield but is it genuine or an election ploy – GUUUHLP- Are polygamists training pit bulls to join their church in an effort to bring down monogamy – GUUUUUUUUULHHHHP????
Anderson and I have been through a lot. My flirtation with Dan Abrahms. His struggles as a closeted reporter. His failure to understand why I’m not ready to join the army of the silver foxes at age 26. But now? I want to believe we’ll get through this. I really do. But I expected more from him.