"Do you mind?"

Running late this morning and no parking in front of the coffee shop so I circle the block to get a spot in the lot. Just past 9 a.m., a line forms to the counter, everyone on their way to work, and I dutifully take my place. And then, it happens:

I hear joyful squeals and giggles as the woman in front of me greats her friend who has just come through the side door. And the latecomer turns to me as she joins her friend in line in front of me and asks – asks?, who is she kidding, this really isn’t a question – “do you mind if I join my friend and cut in front of you?”

And it’s the way I say it, I guess. Because I’m running late and because I just don’t have the energy to be a very good liar and also because this really isn’t a question.

“Sure,” I say, in a voice filled with contempt.

In a voice filled with something that makes her say, “that’s O.K., it doesn’t seem like it’s O.K. with you.”

And I’m supposed to feel rotten, horrible really, because I was supposed to say,“Oh no of course! Go right ahead!” in a voice displaying my glee for their little friendly outing. But actually, I feel pretty happy with myself. Especially after her friend turns to her and says, “here, I’ll pay for you, what do you want?” No lady, you’re not going to make me feel bad.

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to cut in line, just do it. Don’t look to me to validate your rudeness, because I won’t. And don’t try to make me feel bad for your rudeness, because I won’t. But most of all, don’t ask dumb questions. Because I’m sure as shit not going to give you a dumb answer.